Saturday, August 18, 2007
i think i have becomed weaker.
physically and emotionally.
as i am typing this, there is a war going on in my stomach.
and frankly, i always lose out.
haven't gotten any better from my illness.
it has been stuck with me from 2 weeks ago.
friday at exam was the worst day for me.
went home totally weak and pale.
and, i just had to screw up my day even more.
joyce just has to be so brilliant in the many wrong ways.
i know this is hard to believe.
but i just want to be what i was in the beginning.
able to remain clear-headed.
able to concentrate.
able to be just me.
people always say.
treat those around you well.
don't regret what you do a few days later.
but now, i can tell for sure what is regret.
the feeling of regret is something that makes you turn your guts inside out.
it makes you think for what reason are you living for tomorrow?
when all you have is lost.
when all you feel is loneliness.
gradually, you will lose all feelings of sanity.
you go insane quietly, wandering in the compounds of your mind.
and in the night, i will listen to my ipod and quietly cry my heart out.
for that is the only time, i can bare myself out, to no one but myself.
i guess this is the only one true post i have ever made since the beginning of this year.
and after this post, i will continue my miserable life.
but
http://patheticscar.blogspot.com will not remain.
hopefully, it will be better.
one to give me hope.
one to give me life.
people say that there will never be anyone who understands you but you.
but since april, i have found someone else who did understand me better than i did.
however, ytd was the last day.
what is the truth?
i know no truth.
who holds the truth?
please come and find me.
till then, i'll hug my dragon and fly.
fly away.
please, take me away.
from here.
i just want to thank:
GOD for letting me have peace.
marcia for always being there for me.
jon for letting me share everything and lending me your time to cry over the phone.
edwina for protecting me.
BY i.who.loves.gummy.bears/9:27 PM;
